The Loneliness Behind the Case for More Parties

More than half of Americans say they feel isolated, and in 2023 just 4 percent of adults reported going to a party on a weekend or holiday, according to figures cited in the article. Party historian Imogen Willetts, author of Up All Night: A History of Going Out, argues that this is a striking departure: for most of human history, dancing, music and communal celebration were woven into everyday life, often through religion.

Willetts points to medieval English feast days with drinking and dancing, and to a theory that wooden pews were introduced at Wells Cathedral partly to restrain rowdy congregations. She traces modern commercial nightlife to seventeenth-century Yoshiwara, built outside Edo, now Tokyo, separate from both religion and royal court spectacle.

The historian says parties give people access to what sociologist Émile Durkheim called collective effervescence in 1912: the surge of euphoria people feel in peak communal moments, from sports matches to dance floors. In increasingly secular societies, she argues, nightlife has become one of the main ways to experience being part of something bigger than oneself.

What Medieval Feasts and Harlem Rent Parties Reveal

The history matters because it reframes partying as a social technology rather than mere entertainment. It has repeatedly created space for release, income and cultural change.

Why Durkheim's Collective Effervescence Still Applies

Willetts uses Durkheim's 1912 concept to describe the sensation shared by worshippers, sports crowds and club dancers. Her argument is that when societies become more secular, they do not lose the need for communal euphoria; they shift it into nightlife. That helps explain why the decline in parties and gatherings can feel like more than a scheduling problem — it is a loss of an emotional outlet that communities have relied on for centuries.

From the Cedar Tavern to Harlem Rent Parties

The article highlights specific scenes where social spaces powered cultural movements. Mid-century abstract expressionists met at the Cedar Tavern in New York, while the Viennese Secession movement used Cabaret Fledermaus as a gathering point. At home, turn-of-the-century New Orleans fish fries let households open their doors, charge entry and serve food and music, helping families struggling with rent. Harlem rent parties in the 1920s operated similarly; Langston Hughes found them more interesting than formal cabarets and collected their invitation cards.

What the Best Parties Have in Common

Across centuries, Willetts identifies a simple core: good music, good lighting and an atmosphere where anything can happen. The satisfaction, she says, comes from seeing domestic order temporarily overturned — a kitchen becoming a cocktail bar or a living room becoming a dance floor. That slight disorder helps people shed daily life and feel alive.

Practical Party Lessons From the Historian

If the history is a guide, hosting and attending parties are practical skills worth reviving. Willetts's examples suggest a few concrete starting points.

  • Start with music and lighting. Willetts names these as the core elements of successful parties across eras; they do more to change a room than expensive food or elaborate themes.
  • Transform the domestic space. The appeal of turning a kitchen into a cocktail bar or a living room into a dance floor is a recurring feature of good parties, creating the sense that normal rules are briefly suspended.
  • Use home gatherings for connection and income if needed. New Orleans fish fries and Harlem rent parties show that opening a home, charging a small entry fee and offering food and music can be both socially valuable and financially practical.
  • Treat the goal as collective effervescence. Rather than chasing perfection, aim for the shared euphoria Durkheim described: music, movement and a room where guests feel free to behave differently.