From Preparedness to Psychosis: One Mother's Experience

Ayana Lage, author of Missing Me: A Memoir of Postpartum Psychosis and the Long Road Back, recently shared her experience with postpartum psychosis in a first-person account. About a week after giving birth to her daughter, Lage developed the delusion that God was speaking to her and that her infant daughter was Jesus — a belief that frightened her husband and parents.

Lage had been diagnosed with major depression and an anxiety disorder in college and knew she was at increased risk for postpartum depression. She stayed on medication throughout her pregnancy and had discussed the possibility of a depressive episode with her psychiatrist. Psychosis was not something she had considered.

Her daughter was born a month early via emergency C-section during the pandemic. Lage initially felt energetic and optimistic, but within days her mood swung dramatically and she became convinced that only she could keep her baby safe. After she declared she was a prophet, her husband contacted her psychiatrist, and Lage soon asked to go to the hospital herself, saying she would die otherwise. She began hallucinating in the emergency room and was transferred to a psychiatric ward, where she remained for 17 days.

Lage later had a son under the supervision of her psychiatrist and a high-risk obstetrician, with her family watching closely for warning signs. She experienced postpartum anxiety with her second child, but not psychosis. She credits her husband's advocacy with helping her receive quality care, and notes that as a Black woman she may not have had the same access to care without his support.

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What This Story Reveals About Postpartum Mental Health Care

How Risk Assessment Missed a Rare but Severe Condition

Lage's story highlights a gap in how postpartum mental health risks are often discussed. Her planning was focused on postpartum depression — a condition more commonly screened for and discussed. Postpartum psychosis is far rarer, affecting roughly 1 to 2 per 1,000 mothers, yet it carries more acute risks. Her experience shows that even a patient who is informed, medicated and under psychiatric care can face an outcome outside her preparation.

The Role of Family Observation and Advocacy

The account underscores how quickly the condition escalated and how important those around the patient were. Lage's husband noticed the shift, consulted her psychiatrist and ensured she was not left alone with the baby — steps that delayed a crisis and helped get her to care. When her own judgment deteriorated, the people around her acted on medical advice rather than on her statements.

Why This Matters for Mothers of Color

Lage also raises a point about race and maternal mental health care. As a Black woman, she believes her husband's advocacy — as a white man — may have changed how seriously her symptoms were taken. Research has shown disparities in how Black mothers' pain and mental health concerns are treated. Her story illustrates how systemic factors and personal advocacy can intersect in real time.

What Families and Mothers Should Know

Families and mothers can take several practical steps based on this account:

  • Plan for postpartum depression — but know the signs of psychosis. Lage knew the risk of depression but not psychosis. Warning signs in her case included severe sleep loss, erratic social media posting, rapid mood swings, and beliefs that seemed grandiose or disconnected from reality.
  • Involve family in the care plan before birth. Her husband knew to contact her psychiatrist when symptoms escalated. A clear channel between family members and the treating provider can shorten the time to intervention.
  • Act on observable signs, not just what the mother says. Lage was euphoric and believed her delusions were true. Her family trusted the psychiatrist's guidance and stayed with her rather than accepting her reassurances.
  • Arrange follow-up mental health care for subsequent pregnancies. For her second child, Lage was monitored by both a psychiatrist and a high-risk OB throughout pregnancy and after birth. That structure helped prevent a repeat episode.