Why German Parents Need a Guardianship Directive

A widespread assumption among parents is that a child’s godparents would automatically become legal guardians if both parents die. German family-law experts say that is not how civil law works. Church traditions such as godparenthood have no automatic effect on custody, and a single parent’s unmarried partner does not automatically receive guardianship either.

The legal tool to close this gap is a Sorgerechtsverfügung, or guardianship directive. In it, parents name the person they want to take over custody and guardianship of their minor children after their death. The directive can also state who should not become guardian.

Eva Becker, a Berlin family-law attorney and chair of the family-law committee at the German Bar Association, and Sophie Godt-Nordhues, notary assessor and spokesperson for the Federal Chamber of Notaries, say the directive is best prepared as a notarial will or inheritance contract rather than a simple handwritten note.

If one parent dies, custody passes automatically to the other parent. The directive only becomes relevant when both parents are gone, and the choice made by the last surviving parent is the one that generally controls.

How German Family Law Applies a Parent’s Written Choice

What a guardian actually takes on

A named guardian does not merely provide a home. Under German law, the guardian exercises parental responsibility and makes essential decisions on care, upbringing and the child’s financial affairs.

How much weight does the family court give the parents’ choice?

The family court is generally bound by the parents’ written choice. It can deviate only in exceptional cases, for example if there are concrete indications that the named person is unsuitable or that the appointment would endanger the child’s welfare. Because the last surviving parent’s directive is decisive, it matters that both parents’ documents reflect a consistent plan.

Why the form of the document changes the practical outcome

A dated and signed piece of paper can technically be valid, but the experts warn it can easily be lost or destroyed. A notarial will or inheritance contract is kept in official custody and registered in the Central Testament Register, which helps ensure the directive is reliably found after a death. Still, experts recommend keeping an additional copy — or the original of a handwritten document — in a central folder of important papers.

Concrete Steps for Parents to Make a Guardianship Directive Work

  • Ask the person you want to name whether they are actually willing to become guardian before putting their name in the directive.
  • Name a substitute guardian in case the first choice cannot or will not take the role.
  • Have the directive prepared as a notarial will or inheritance contract through a lawyer or notary so it is officially stored and registered.
  • Briefly explain in the document why you chose that person, such as the existing personal bond, to help the family court review the child’s best interests.
  • If there is a person you specifically do not want as guardian, state that exclusion in the same directive.
  • Keep a copy in a central folder of important documents and tell the named guardian where to find it so the appointment process can start without delay.